Brace Yourself!

Finally, we got the long awaited carbon fiber, spring loaded, lock enabled brace!  Like a lot of things, getting to the right place/person/insurance approved company, etc was a challenge but...what a wonderful after Christmas gift.  It is so fancy, you'd think we got a new car with all our excitement!  You'd be expecting to see more than you do, but the fact that it is small is one of the best features!  Brad, Thomas' friend I've mentioned earlier, said today..."It sounds like its bionic or something... like the Six Million Dollar Man!"  Since the price tag was  a little shy of six million, we feel like we got a heck of a deal!  :) Doesn't really matter anyway... so worth it.  Thomas is still figuring out the kinks and it will take some getting used to, but its already proven to be a value...
For the first time in 6 weeks since his release from the hospital, T was going into the Med on crutches (vs wheelchair).  It had been raining here all day and we were late since we spent extra time at the 'brace place' practicing and getting detailed instructions.  We were making time down the hallway to Clinic when one crutch slipped.  If it had been one day earlier, down he would have gone.  Its too early yet for him to walk on the brace unassisted by crutches but, it definitely provides security already.  That's just a wonderful feeling for him.  Me too!

We are exactly TWELVE weeks into this whole journey.  I can't believe it.  Fast and slow...

T gets stronger every day.  He is probably the hardest worker I've ever met... I knew that he was driven in his career but this has brought a whole new side of him to light.  I dont' know if its being the fifth of five kids or just a special God given gift, probably some of both, but he is very determined.  He has set some goals for himself as to when he plans to be entirely prosthetic free (no crutches, no brace)!  If any of you saw Gwynth Paltrow on Glee this past fall, she sang a cleaned up version of the C-Lo Song..( her version) entitled "Forget You".  You can google her appearance on Glee and get it from YouTube.  She was awesome!  But anyway, that's kind of the song I sing in my head (cause you don't want to hear me singing out loud) about that infamous visit to the hand specialist! :) Ugh.

We love you guys for caring for our family, for Thomas and for your faithful friendship and prayers.  Its in my plan to try to update the blog about once a week at minimum.  I hope to start a tribute series next.  I'm rolling it around in my head (I've got LOTS of planing time while relaxing in the clinic waiting room at the Med) the things I want to share about many of you, our family and friends who have helped carry us through this, who have been the hands and feet of Jesus.  I have funny stories and tearful ones.  I want to get them down because just in talking with my sisters over the holiday, its amazing the things I am already forgetting. 

I hope you shared a joyful Christmas with YOUR family and friends.  We certainly did.  We are blessed with precious, fun, funny, kind people in our immediate world.  As we get ready to enter a new year, we are filled with hope and we are certainly looking forward to health and blessings that we can both give and receive. 

HIOTT....
Julie

You got to have your very own broom..

The lyrics certainly don't  had better not apply but, the song just makes us smile!  And, its what we think of when we visit our pals a few times a week down at the Med's clinic...  LOTS of sassy brooms down there!  (You'll have to listen the whole way through to get that and the title of this post...)

So, what happened was....

Two weeks ago, we were referred to a doctor who was new in this whole mix.  I wrote about that briefly in
"Knocked Down". 

The thing with Doctors is ... some have the gifts of both medical skill and 'bedside' manner.   Some dont'.  In in a situation like ours, you encounter them all.  Learning to take what they have to say to you and how they say it is a skill all your own...you gotta develop it, though.  Two weeks ago, our "skills" in hearing info delivered in a less than empathetic way werent' as strong as they needed to be.  We both took it hard and have taken the last few weeks to process it, sometimes needing to have the infamous 'pity parties on the attic floor', in my case! :)

When we left The Med, doctors ( and there were so many different ones) generally said that Thomas would probably never run a marathon, but was he going to anyway?  Doctor humor.  But, within reason, they thought he would return to a lifestyle similar to the one he was pulled from in early October.  Drastic measures such as amputation were no longer mentioned... those 'options' hadn't been mentioned since about week 2 of his hospital stay.   

Our visit to New Doctor (who we later learned is a hand specialist... go figure) pulled the plug on our bright hopes within minutes of him walking in to our room.  In his underdeveloped bedside manner, he told us that Thomas had three choices:
1. amputation
2. fusion
3. a life time in a brace; IF his leg would be usable at all

Do these seem like choices to you?  Option 3, thanks.  Yes, final answer. 

When we mentioned the prognosis we had received at the end of our stay at the Med, he guffawed and said "Any athletics for you are over...."    And then, he had his tech bring in the brace he thought Thomas would need.  Picture Optimus Prime from Transformers.  Big. Metal. Heavy. Complicated. 

Now we realize that it probably shouldn't have come as such a shock.  We weren't so misguided that we didn't know his capabilities would be different.  But, we did dream that he'd be able to go hunting with Reed, maybe ride a four wheeler or bike, dance with me or Mary-Carter.....  I can't tell you how much of it was our hopes being over inflated or how much of it was the delivery that just punched holes in any hopes at all.  In any case, for about two weeks, we were just down.  Thomas is still here, by the grace of God.  Praise, praise, praise oh praise!  The miracle of that is not lost on us.  However, there are things in our life that are irrevocably different.  We have to deal with those differences and mourn some of the things that we will no longer have.  We have to do that in order to move forward.  We both felt guilty for our sadness and its taken some time (about two weeks!) for me to be able to say these things. 

We were back at the Med for clinic at the end of last week.  These appointments are pretty long and where he gets his dressings changed.  Catharine, one of our favorite 'clean up" nurses was listening to Thomas tell her his most recent prognosis and that we had been fitted with a custom brace.   She sees Thomas as a son, I can tell by the way she talks to him, she babys him.  I love it.  But, she said and I quote:

(Looking over her bifocals, staring him in the eyes and with a sigh...)

"Well, as close as you came to death honey, a lifetime in a brace is really a small price to pay." 

It hit home.  Those words fell on us as heavily as New Doctor's did, but in a healing, helpful, encouraging way.  She was/is right.  And, its a price we can pay.  Thomas is still here.  Praise, praise, praise Oh, Praise.  He can help our kids with homework (praise times a million!), he is beginning to drive some, he can watch sports with Reed, he can tell Mary-Carter she is beautiful every morning before school, he can let her boss him around with her super strict do-it-yourself-so-you'll-get-better regime!  Thomas is still here, thank you All Mighty God.  HE chose to work a miracle here in this house, in this family, in this community.  HE worked that miracle for a reason, for a greater purpose and Thomas is still here for that reason, for that purpose.  We'll find it.  We are looking for it... more now than I was last week when I was a dusty, mopey weirdo hanging out in my attic. 

Its a crazy, unrelenting roller coaster of emotions to go through something like this.  But, today, I feel like we are standing firm again on the foundation of our Lord's righteousness.  I am sure there will be more loop-de-loops to come.  We'll hang on, of course. 

Today, we have an MRI.  Its not something Thomas is looking forward to at all, but, as our Catharine told him... small price.  The MRI is necessary to see what is exactly left in his leg and whats not.  This will help therapists know how best to exercise the leg, whether the brace is lifelong or not... not a worry anyway!  We ditched the transformer brace and got fitted for an AWESOME custom brace that will weigh less than 3 lbs., it will have a lock on it that will facilitate him standing for longer periods of time.  Its E-Zzzzzz to put on! 

As I mentioned, T has driven our car. First time since October 5!   He said he wanted to and I said, "What if you have a wreck and break your leg!  Then we will really have some problems!"  He shot back, "What if YOU have a wreck and break my leg..."  So, ahem....he drove. 

One of those seemingly little things that is actually huge.  Like many things along the way... like when a doctor has both medical skill and bedside manner.  This sounds overly dramatic but when you get those amazing ones, they are just like ... like your favorite pillow!  They are so comforting.  Seemingly small but so, so huge. 

Thomas is progressing.  He is so determined and is working so hard.  Just getting in the car takes effort, takes strength.  He doesn't ever lose patience.  He rarely gets frustrated.  God is all around him, I can see. 

So.... that is what happened and this is where we are today.  Writing this blog is both a gift to me and a challenge.  Ive said before, knowing what to write and how is hard.  I look back on some and think about deleting them.  Then I dont' because it is a record of our journey.  Its a very vulnerable feeling to have these words out there... and, to hear some say how much they admire the words is very nice.  I am very humbled and touched and also, very thankful if these entries have meant something to you.  However, I have to close by saying.... anything you find admirable is not of me, its not me at all.  The 'amazing' words you read, the strength you see, the encouragement you find is all completely of God.  I just had the chance to be a vessel,to be used to type HIS words.  I will disappoint you tomorrow, heck, maybe even today if you see me!! :)  God will never disappoint you, though.  Read this blog and realize who is speaking to you.  Its not me.  Seek HIM.  Offer HIM your admiration and your PRAISE.  That's where you will find the strength, the encouragement, the peace.... believe me. 

Thank you for caring for our family and reading our blog. 

HIOTT (HE is on the throne) ...

Julie

whats in the attic...

Long time, no type.  Lots of reasons.  One being that, even though we are 'home' (from the hospital)... we are rarely AT home!  We go somewhere every single day... either to rehabilitation or to The Med, for lengthy appointments.  Thursdays are supposed to be our day off, but today we went for a custom brace fitting.  All in all, that was kind of fun in comparison to our other outings!

Prior to that appointment though, I was in high gear today.  Aren't we all this time of year?  But seeing as my time to accomplish the things of December has been squeezed a little, I was making hay this Thursday, our 'day off'. 

I am so blessed to have had several of you who collected to provide help around our house. Oh. My. Goodness.  I am so, so thankful!  We'd be living in complete squalor with out that help.  So, trying to stay ahead of their progress around the house today, I was upstairs racing to get all our (now) empty Christmas decoration boxes back up to the attic so they could shovel out the dirt.  I was also trying to place orders online and do a a little laundry but, once I got UP-upstairs, I was totally distracted.  Attics always do that to me... complete time warp.  Memory Lane.   

One thing that distracted me was a big, giant, really organized and well labled bin, with Bounce dryer sheets stuck down inside so it'd smell fresh when we reopened (my favorite!) full of ski wear.  Ski Wear...ski.  wear.  :(

Well, let me give you the true confession.  I sat down in my Christmas pajama pants on our dusty attic floor and had a pity party.   We took our kids skiing for the very first time last year.  Nothing fancy, just to the slopes outside St. Louis, but it was great and I highly recommend it!  We enrolled the kids in ski school and, as they wobbled off, T. and I hopped the lift for a quick, kid free run down (the baby bunny maybe a green for me but easily a double blue, even black for him) the slopes before they returned.  It was their very first time on skis and being our first day of the trip, we were really hopeful they would enjoy it and we'd all have a great time.  As we rode that lift, we held our puffy gloved hands and prayed that God would bless our kids, protect them and give them enough joy in this 'sport' that it would be something we could all do as a family.  Something we could anticipate, something that we could make a tradition...

T and I did our runs a few times then, with a little trepidation, went to retrieve them from school.  The two, cutely clad novices we sent wobbling off were returning as two cutely clad beginning skiiers!  They did great!  We were just jublient!  This was a vacation we could do together, get exercise and therefore eat a lot, as a family!  Perfect!  Thanks, God for the answered prayer!  Good times, good times. 

That was almost exactly one year ago.  And, when I found all those well packed ski clothes today... I said the unspeakable.  I said, "Why me?"  as I cried over something lost. 

Why me? 

I'm really not sure how long I sat up there.  Not that long, as I still completed a few of the other tasks on my list. But, after the "party of one" upstairs on the floor in my attic, I did tell Thomas about it.  Weird.  He's the one hurt and the one I am who's supposed to be supporting him! But even now, he is still the one comforting me!  Seriously, I married well. 

He said, I am not really asking "Why me"... even though he said it's crossed his mind.   Instead, he is asking, "Whats the purpose?"  This whole ordeal is what it is... it has happened and it is a real thing, so, "Why Me?" does us absolutley no good. 

"Whats the purpose?" on the other hand has possibility.  It has hope in it.  It has the future in it.  In asking about the purpose, we acknowledge and even accept the changes in our lives with eyes wide open, looking for the connection/the purpose ... the way it will be used for the greater good.  Thomas, pun intended, is a bigger man than me! :)  He's got the strength to ask the better question. 

I cling to my faith.  But, if it means that my faith is weak or that I am weak or what, I don' t know but, I admit that every day I have a moment where I feel sad or even mad, frustrated or aggravated.  What I think "faith" is, though, is that deliberate decision to say, "God is in control of this.  His plan is always perfect. We are His children.  This is not mine to manage and we trust Him. "  A coming about. 

I was looking through T's bible and a verse he had dog earred is 1 Peter 5:6-11.  It speaks so well to our entire story ... even the ski lift:

" Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that He may LIFT  you up in due time.  Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.  Be self-controlled (I'm hearing "don't sit in your Christmas pajama pants and have a pity party on the attic floor") and  be alert.  Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.  Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.   And the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.  To HIM be the power for ever and ever. Amen." 

Pity party, over. 

Anyway, when you have on the proper gear, which we have and it smells like Bounce...it is very cool to sit by the fire at a ski resort.

Thank you for caring for our family, for reading this blog (set up against my will but has become so therapeutic for me!) and for your prayers!  We appreciate you more than words can ever say...

HIOTT,
jcm

knocked down but...

Just like Kasey Kasem would say, I've got a dedication (not long distance, though) from Julie to Thomas....
You amaze and inspire me. So thankful that you keep getting back up.  I love you...

tools

It's really important to have good tools.  My Dad has said that.   I have thought that while attending a Pampered Chef party (I am such a marketer's dream).  And, Thomas has said that, although I don't think he ever appreciated it as much as he did today. 

See, skin staples are a common and essential part of surgery...to attach or close something.  But, often more than not, they have to be removed.  What one really hopes to avoid is them getting 'embedded'.  Hmmmm.  See where I am going with this?

Staples? check.  Embedded? Check, check.  Quality (read: Ethicon) staple remover? Oh, no.  No. Not at all.  

What do you do?  Dig.    

I had to sit down.  And, I am not even the one experiencing this "expedition' that was going on!

After some colorful commentary and a few tests of the bolts on the arm rest, staples were out and all was good. 

We had just settled in back home when Mr. and Mrs. Rehabilitation called.  They wanted to see him.  Right away.  It was a good thing but one of those good things you don't really want to do.  Had to. 

This time, I just thought I'd be of best help if I was on the other side of the office, clear across from the workout room, filling out papers.  I mean, gotta be cautious... wouldn't want to over tax myself too much in one day.  :0  (me, me, me, me!!!!!)

Again with some teeth-grinding-grimacing-indiscernible-words-grabbing-of-the-available-furniture... BUT, No pain, no gain, right?  Well, in the end, I think Thomas felt he could make a big mark in his 'gain' column.  I certainly felt so!  And, whew, was I tired! (me, me, me, me)

We have some new concerns involving his knee.   I wish I knew more.  Just know in the morning, we will be seeing yet another new doctor in another new office for another new investigation of Case Thomas. 

I almost never go back and read previous blogs.  But, I am having vague memories here of battle and wars and who's next to pick a fight.  Blah, blah, blah.  Hate that.  But, a shout out to all those problems creeping in the shadows... We've had a little rest.  We've been home a week.  We've eaten like pigs.  We've visited with treasured friends and family... We're up on our game!  Plus, also ... we, deliberately, every single day, a FEW times a day, still turn our whole fight over to the mightiest warrior and HIS army.  So... I'd watch my back if I were you, Creepy problem.  H.I.O.T.T

Home

Home.  Have you, in a while, stopped to really think about what that means to you?  We have.  We have had 42 days to think about home....

Home is:
the place where our kids are
the place where our parents, mine and T's, moved in to help (and help they did)
the place our family makes better and warmer and richer
the place where the mess is ours
the place where we created memories
the place where we are familiar
the place where we are in charge
the place where we are comfortable
the place where our friends come and are welcome and treasured
the place we long for
the place where we are about to celebrate Thanksgiving
the place where our love lives and our story goes on...

Home is where you can't wait to be when you think you can't get there.

Home is where my husband said today to the Fellow over the burn unit... you have to get me there.
And he did. 
42 days after a shocking admission to The Med, we were released. 
We were released as better people, I most certainly hope.   On the drive home, Thomas and I both said that we hope we are forever changed.  I think we are.  How could we not be?  But, we don't want to ever lose the urgency of the faith we have.  We don't want to ever forget what it is to witness a miracle.  We dont' want to ever take for granted a single day of our lives, we don't want to forget that the most valuable and precious things we have are right here.... at home.

Thomas has still some mighty hard work to do.  However, tonight to be at home, in his house, nothing else much matters.

To you all who are reading this.  Thank you.  Thank you for ... caring for my family, for praying for us and with us.  You have been part of a God ordained miracle.  I hope you are as blessed as we are for it.   I mean this with all my heart... we love you.

HIOTT....
Julie, Thomas, Mary-Carter and Reed Mullins
Live, from ...home  :)

Live, from The Med, its Saturday night!

For my debut as "host", I think I will just recount to you my general observations as a 5+ week veteran of The Med....


1. I felt shafted till I saw my first prisoner. And when I fianlly did, I stared.  I shouldn't have, but I did, I couldn't help it. 

2.  If ever in the area, you should totally come have lunch (or breakfast or dinner) at the Med Cafe.  I am tellin' you... it is Thumping'!  All. The. Time!  And, I do not mean mu-sak, either.   I mean the Dazz Band, Rick James, K.C and the Sunshine Band, Kool and the Gang... loud. Plus, serious soul food on the buffet: fried chicken, green beans with bacon, cornbread, beans, and Brussels’ sprouts.  The staff is mostly friendly and all full of personality.     Its just perfect... perfect.

3.  My Christmas card list grew by at least 4 since we started here.  The new additions are the 4 security guards in the Jefferson Street lot.  Conley, Regina, Carrie and Jonathan.  Talk about Angels Unaware.  They watched out for me, asked about my husband, lined me out if I was mopey, even... on a rare occasion, if I wasn't going to be long... would let me 'borrow' one of the reserved spots.  I always felt safe.  They are awesome and represent some of the finest people, not to mention best of The Med.




Carrie... so encouraging and compassionate





Regina.  Beautiful inside and out AND takes no foolishness.  She will line you out in a minute if you need it.  I did. 



Jonathen... sweet and happy and always interested in your 'case'.

Conley... all business but with a huge heart. Always ready and able to solve a problem or help you.

4.  I received compliments for my, and I quote, 'big legs'. Great.  Just what you want to hear.  I mean ...think big picture, I know.  But, seriously, not the time.  Just not the time.  That guy was lucky as I had vats of pent up frustration at that point.  I wish I had felt just a littlebit threatened and I could have commenced to some major self defense! :)



5.   The first night we arrived, once the TICU staff finally got Thomas stabilized (hours) they called me.  They said I could come see him.  It was 3 in the morning.  Mom, Beth and I loaded up and drove down.  I remember uncontrollably shaking and that didn't stop for about 24 - 36 hours.  Later I learned the reason why they let me come (and probably the reason for the shaking).  They never thought he would make it through the weekend.  But, at that time, I did not officially know that.  We visited him and upon leaving, we were 'trapped in the parking lot'.  We tried inputting our ticket.  Didn't work.  We tried pushing all kinds of buttons.  Didn't work.  Finally, sleep deprived and stressed out, I got out of the car and wrestled, with gusto, the gate arm that was preventing our exit.  There was a security car right across the street, head lights on!  I just knew he was having a good laugh at my expense so I wrestled even harder with the gate... staring at that car, daring him to come over there! Nothing.  Finally Beth or Mom noticed a number you were to call if you were 'trapped' like we were. We called.  They were not finished with the sentence, "A guard will be right there...." When, the afore mentioned car LURCHED across the street to our distress spot.  Irritated, I said, "You were just WATCHING ME try to get out of here...why didn’t' you come help!?!?!?!?!?"  One of the largest men I have ever seen in my life popped out of that car like a cork out of champagne.  Dazed and with eyes the size of dinner plates, he said ... "Ah wuz Uhhhhhh-sleep!"



6.  Nate the Great.  A night shift technician that takes vitals and helps out with whatever and whomever needs it.  He is the happiest person I have ever met.  Every word he says is says is laughed more than spoken.  You just can't help but smile when he’s talking to you.  A wonderful bright spot in a place that can get awfully dreary.

7.    I guess one of the most surprising things is the open-ness in which every thing happens.    This is an OLD facility.    And, while they do an amazing job, there just isn’t the infrastructure to allow the privacy that you would expect.    For instance, when a patient is being wheeled from the ER to surgery, they travel out in the hall with everyone else!  (No picture!)   I know this because I experienced it when T went from one place to the other.    I know this because one Saturday night a while back, we witnessed an apparent gunshot victim being wheeled under our noses!

  It’s surreal, I tell you. You cannot believe what you are seeing!     You feel like you are starring in an episode of Grey’s Anatomy… but I’ve yet to see McDreamy.    (Although I do love our doctors… just not in that way)



It is a rich culture here, that’s for sure.     And, I know it was God’s hand that led us here because if it had really been left up to me, I don’t think I would have ever!    I make fun of me, the former “Least likely to end up at The Med” person you have EVER known.    But, here I am and here we’ve been for 35 days.

  I have to add in a bit of levity but in all seriousness…This is the place to be in a crisis, a trauma.

 

Yes, it has all been surreal.    I am overwhelmed at least once a day by the fact that we ARE here, that this HAS happened and is still.    But, in those daily moments of overwhelmedness… I stop and think about how thankful I am that we did end up here, at The Med.    I say that on this, our SIXTH Saturday night.

 

Good night everybody!



Cue the music…..

for granted

Everything.  That's what I took for granted.  Every. Single. Thing. 
 
I think it was last weekend, I'd left the hospital in search of a Starbucks.  It was a Sunday so it was a safer time for a directionally challenged person, like myself, to navigate the downtown streets.  Everywhere I looked there were couples.  I couldn't help but be sad and a little jealous and realize how much I had taken for granted. 
 
I am so ready to be able to spend time with my husband outside this dreary hospital room.  We ran together, played tennis, spent all kinds of time with our kids and friends.  One of our greatest joys has been having fun with our children, with Thomas and I rivaling them for who was actually the biggest kid of all!  Something Mary-Carter and Reed, even at the ages they are now, have always loved was for T to 'jump' them on the trampoline (they all 3 get on and Thomas makes them fly sky high!)  Thomas can and would do anything for us.  He did anything the kids needed, he can do anything around the house... if I needed (or wanted) it done, he made it happen.  I took it
all for granted. 
 
Take a page from my book.  Before something drastic makes you aware....stop to say thanks for the things in life... your husband or wife, going out for a run or game of tennis, playing with your kids, climbing in the attic, walking into a Starbucks for a coffee date.
 
I believe that God will fully restore Thomas.  I've said that before and I still do claim and believe it.  The two of them, have already moved mountains.  We have had so many praises... T's kidney recovery, the successful grafts, love and support from family and friends, continued progress.  
 
So, where are we?  We are basically in a waiting game now.  We wait to make sure the graft's original success stays.  We wait to make sure we stay on top of and avoid complications after surgery.  We wait, again, for God's perfect timing to prevail.  We pray that Thomas can be ready to go home by Thanksgiving.  Afterall, we have a lot to be thankful for and to not take for granted... 
HIOTT,
jcm
 
 

battles and wars

To: Mullins, JulieSent: Monday, November 08, 2010 11:42 PM
How does that saying go.... something about "You can win the battle and still lose the war"?  That sounds right but, if it was something that was covered in history class, I wasn't paying attention, if I was there at all!   However...I am trying NOT to think of that quote, if I did get it right. I wanna win both.    
We won a battle today!  The grafting surgery went well.  The wound was covered/closed in one surgery which is a huge praise. We pray that in the next 36 or so crucial hours, everything
stays successful with that.  The reason we won is because God answered our prayers.  But, like a battle that youve' seen on television or in a good movie... the minute its over, the victor doesn't often relax oimmediately, they turn around to see whats next, they look over their shoulder. 
 
I'm doing that.  I'm looking.  I am thankful for the victory and preparing for whats next.  
Whats next are just more risks of complications.  Don't misunderstand me... I am not losing faith nor am I being ungrateful for what God has done.  I am just aware now that there is almost always something else getting ready to pick a fight. 
 
A friend of ours shared something with me tonight from Charles STanley.  Its his HALT acronym.  Whenever we are Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired... we are at our most vulnerable.  Satan is at his peak to pounce when we are in any (or all) of those states.  Aside from Lonely... we got 'em covered here at The Med.   You can arm yourself during these times, I have discovered by praying the word of God.  A friend of mine hand wrote some favorite verses and sent them to me all the way from Minnesota.  I have frayed the pages by running them through my hands, reciting them and claiming their promises.  It makes a difference.  Trust me.
 
So, while its my priviledge and joy to sit beside the bed that contains my snoring husband who is completley kaboshed on pain control meds (Thank the Lord!) ... And, while I do know the only reason that I am sitting beside the bed is the because of the grace of God.  I am looking over my shoulder.  I know something could else could be next.  I just have to find the balance between being a reasonable 'patient advocate' and coming to a HALT!! 
 I know this post isn't as uplifting as some of my others.  I just think right now, this one is more for my records and reflection. "better out than in" :)
 
Thank you for caring for my family and for your amazing support and prayer coverage. 
 
No matter whats coming next,what battle,  I DO KNOW STILL AND ALWAYS...
 
HIOTT
 
and we will win the war.

"...glory to the Father"

Oh my friends. All of you, some I don't even know....thank you for your love and faithful friendship and most of all your prayers.

"And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father. You may ask for anything in my name and I will do it."
John 14:13-14

Thomas came out of a 4+ hour grafting surgery with answered prayers! The surgery was a success! We are so very thankful for that! Praise God.

We are so grateful to you! Thank you for caring for our family...

Hiott!
Julie and Thomas

peace that passes understanding

Thomas's favorite verse is especially comforting tonight:
"Do not be anxious about anything,but in everything by prayer and supplication WITH THANKSGIVING let your request be known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guide your hearts and your minds in Jesus Christ."

Thank you for caring for our family, for reading this and for your prayers.
HIOTT,
Julie and Thomas

On My Knees

There have been countless gestures, notes, messages, words that have genuinely ministered to us during the past four weeks.  I wouldn't even begin to mention any one specifically because I'd be like Hillary Swank winning her Best Actress Oscar and never remembering to thank her poor husband, Chad Lowe, who sat weeping for her from the front row.  Ugh. 
BUT....
I wanted to share this poem.  It was written by one of my younger friends early on in this battle.  It is just precious and beautiful.  I am so proud FOR her, for her faith and her knowing where to turn when she had concerns. 
Here it goes...

On My Knees....

Good night and sleep tight I say,

For tomorrow is a brand, new day.

A day in which Joy could come,

And relieve all our sadness and glum.

We hope Mr. Thomas will heal,

To our Lord we shall kneel.

(thats the part where I get goose bumps)

Because tomorrow is a day that is new,

And our prayers could come true. 

duh....

I'm usually never far from the butt end of a blonde joke.  Still, I often even surprise myself with the moments I can have.  Yesterday, after being gone into 'hydro' for an extended period of time, I became anxious and then was shocked to learn the doctors were trying to rule out blood clots. Blood clots, even before this, have always been something that frightened me, but, I digress...  
Blood clots are common for someone who has been basically bedridden for four weeks.  Duh.

Turns out, he appears not to have any.  Hallelujah and Amen! :)

Monday, November 8, marks exactly one month that we made our debut at the Memphis Regional Medical Center.  Unbelievable.  Monday also now marks the day skin graft surgery is planned.  Here are my prayers:

• That the decision to do the surgery on Monday will be the right day, by God's timing.  Neither too early or too late.  If it is too early, I pray everyone involved will clearly know that and make the wise decision to wait. 
• I earnestly pray for Dr. Bill Hickerson who is our surgeon.  I pray over his hands, his mind, his heart, his schedule, his rest, his family and his general state of mind that day.  
• I pray for Thomas.  I pray he is filled with peace and confidence.  I pray that God will just supernaturally, as only HE could do, remove any fear or worry... that Thomas can enter into that surgery with a keen awareness of the angels hovering over him, of his Father at his side.
• I  pray Thomas will be perfectly protected from ANY complications.  I petition God for the blessing of not ONE SINGLE hangup.  Now, I pray God's Will be done... but I am boldly asking that from here on out we go with out a bump.  Not one. 
• I pray that the pain we've been so warned about after surgery will be reasonably controlled.  (Girls, think of the times you were using a new razor and you 'skinned' your shin bone or ankle.  I just did that as a matter of fact.  It hurts and that is what we've been told his harvest site will feel like.)
• I pray that I will be strong, peaceful, trusting, fearless because I know this is all in God's hands. 
• I pray that I can provide Thomas will just the right words or actions for comfort at just the right time. 

Now I praise...

• I praise that God is the Great Physician.
• I praise that we know HIM.
• I praise Him for The Med. (And I will Praise Him when WE are pulling out of that parking lot for the last time!)
• I praise that he chose our family and our friends to be used by His Holy Spirit to lift us up.
• I praise Him for those family members and friends who have given and given of time, energy, thought and deed.  They have sat with us, prayed for us, let us cry, made us laugh, brought us food, stocked our supplies, written beautiful notes, touched our hearts and shown their own faithfulness and obedience to "Love one another..." I will never, ever have the words to really express my gratitude.  We love you.  We love you.
• I praise for everything that has happened so far because it has shown us His mighty power, His grace, His love and His desire to hold us in His hands. 
• I praise Him for my husband... that HE, and HE really did, orchestrate us divinely 'bumping' into each other about 18 years ago in a hospital (the irony) parking lot in Texarkana, Texas.  God gave me a gift that day in the form of a handsome, hardworking, south Alabama boy who liked my green suit.  Duh. It was a great suit. 

Thank you for reading this and caring about my family.  Thank you for your prayers.  I covet them especially now as we enter into this surgery on Monday. 

HIOTT!,
jcm

I am sorry for another delay! I stay at the hospital most of the time now. Not always at night but sometimes.  I can't update from there! :/

We had hoped for the skin grafts to start.  They still have not.  I have to 'be still and know that HE is God" ... as so many of you have affirmed, HE is the great physician and the timing will be perfect.  I pray over our doctor here, too. He is an excellent physician and I am so thankful to have him.   I trust that he is being guided and influenced via the power of all of our prayers.  I thank you so very much for those prayers.  This whole thing is a 'trickle down' system (or trickle up... )  Through the faith and obedience that you all have, you support me and keep me strong and encouraged... where I can then support and keep T strong.  We are so very thankful for you all.  I give this all over to God for His glory and have faith, know, CLAIM that HE will continue to see Thomas through all of this.  There is a purpose and we anxiously await the day that it is all revealed.  Until then we praise God and rejoice in the stirring of faith that has already occurred. 

We also are so thankful that our children have continued to be peaceful and so well cared for by our family and friends.  What a tremendous blessing.  To see how they have handled this is also to witness another of God's miracles. 

Our prayers are that T will continue to stay protected from any complications.  That surgery will be soon, but also at just the right time.  That the grafting will be very successful with out any setbacks.  That all of our doctors will be rested, protected, and guided by God's might armor and hand.  That we will not miss any reason or purpose for this trial but that we will always know...To God Be the Glory. 

There is so much I'd like to write about but there just isn't the time!  I just want you all to know how grateful we are for your prayers, love and support.  It is so very humbling and not a minute of it is lost.... our hearts are blessed every single day, usually many times over.  Please know that and receive the blessing in it for you. 

HIOTT, jcm

coming undone

A few days ago, one of my most 'fit' prayer warriors said to me, "Jules, you know if this had gone the other way, we'd still have to be praising God."  And, yes, I know that.  But would I?  As strongly?  I mean, if I had lost my husband, would I have had it in me to still be thankful and full of praise?  Thats a pretty big question.

Saturday, I had a better perspective on my answer.  I dont' have any fancy way to say it... we had a crappy day.  Thomas' pain was totally out of control and he was hurting to the point of distraction.  His nutrition was in the tank.  That sounds like a small problem, but its huge... as everything (condition of existing muscles, when grafting surgery can be done, kidney prognosis, etc) hinges on that.   It looked dismal that we could make a dent in improving it in the time given.  His room was not as clean as I'd like, his nurse was mean, he wouldn't eat the food, we were getting more conflicting medical advice than we could discern or handle.  That means that one one team tells you to do is exactly opposite of what the other team tells you to do... ie:Burn=consume all the protein you can.  Nephrology=consume anything but protein!  Throw the trauma team and dieticians into the mix and you don't know who to believe!  It leaves us in the middle trying to choose.   And... to top it all off, I forgot to confirm some information with our insurance company.  Thats REALLY scary. 

We were both: Exhausted. Overwhelmed. Confused. Frustrated. Afraid.  This was the beginning of a giant unraveling for me.  Imagine a small snag in a sweater ... and you pull it.  I could NOT stop crying...that ugly crying, too, where you can't make words or control your face.  The weight of everything fell on me.   He has been so sick.  There is this unknown road ahead of us.  He has an enormous injury that nearly cost him his life.  Its just huge.   I did that whole regret and worry thing that I was trying not to do, I was irrational about everything.  I was asking "Why him!?"  In short, all the things I had felt so solidly 'sewn up in my little sweater of faith' were... unraveling. 

In comparison to where we had been a few weeks ago, why was I coming undone now?  And, why was I questioning our path?  Like Janet Jackson's song so many years ago, I was asking "But, what have you done for me Late-leeeeeeeey?" Where was my faith and strength and praise and thankful heart? 
Really, where was it Miss Blogger!?! 

I realized that faith is sometimes a willful act.  I was helped to that realization by many of you and those 'angels unaware' I mentioned before.  I have to choose it sometimes versus just assuming it will 'flow through me'.  Saturday, I had to choose it.  I had to say to myself, "Self, shut up!" :)  I had to focus and meditate on the miracles God had worked so far.  I had to look beyond myself.  I needed to let God use me for a minute so that I could remember those who had reached out to me.  Even in the worst of times, if we focus on Him, He will bless your for it.  We believe that because we are living it. 

We are still waiting for grafts.  Everything is connected and there are other factors that have to be optimal before the doctors will even consider starting.  That seems like it'd be really frustrating but, with grafting, you really hope not to have any 're-do's'.  So, we are waiting and obeying thier nutrition rules.  Thomas has made a 'business plan'!  He is following it to the letter and its working for the burn guys.  Our hope and prayer is that he will be ready for grafting surgery by the end of this week. 

Our kids are still doing well.  They had lots of Halloween fun, which thrilled us.  Too bad Thomas and I couldnt' enter costume contests this year, we were very convincing!  I dressed as an overworked patient advocate and he went as the sickest healthy man you've ever seen. 

Our family and our friends are supporting us in ways that can only be attributed to grace!  I mean my Mom and my Mother-in-law are doing my laundry!  Can you imagine more grace concentrated in one spot than that (them not me!)?!   Each and everything that happens is orchestrated by God's mighty and righteous hand and I can see that as clearly as I can this computer screen. 

Thank you all for reading this, for caring about Thomas and our family.  Thank you for your faithful friendship and prayers....

HIOTT,
jcm

Down and Out

We are down... step DOWN ICU, that is!  And, we are also out.... OUT of trauma and on to the burn unit.  I have had very mixed emotions about this for many reasons!  God knows how hard headed I am sooooooooo, he allowed me to process the whole thing for a while, til I was ready (this IS all about me, right?!)  As with everything, HIS timing has been and is perfect.  Thank you God for amazing doctors who invest in their patients and thank you for your own type of patience...one  that knows no end! 

Trauma ICU has been our 'home' for 3 weeks minus one day.  The staff there are so dear to us.  Let's face it, they helped my husband fight what seemed like a losing battle ... and win.  I mean seriously, how do you begin to express gratitude or say thank you for that?  There is no Emily Post Etiquette rule, I am sure.  I hated to leave them and they are all in our hearts forever. But, lucky for them... we aren't to far away! :)

We are just about at a point where this big ole wound is going to be our primary focus, I think.   Being in the burn icu, T will get the care of nurses and doctors who know every minuscule detail about skin (or lack thereof in our case!)  I started to like them all the minute they met me at the door.  I kinda think TMullins did to but then again, they were showing him some much needed love with pain control, so his affections could be misplaced.  Mine aren't. 

The room is larger, the floor is quieter, there is a real door AND, I can stay even overnight if wanted/needed.  I think that day is coming....

One other very big thing about this day... Mary-Carter and Reed saw their dad!!!  Precious, sweet, enduring memory... all apply.

My angel-of- -sister- whom-I-am-forever-incredibly-indebted-to; Beth was in on the surprise with me.  She picked up my kids and brought them down for a surprise visit to bed number 3, which at the time was still in TICU.  That staff  I mentioned, that I cant' ever thank or express my love for, made it possible.  In certain cases, like ours, exceptions can be made but its a very serious place, the TICU.  I didnt' take that lightly nor do any of them.  Again... God's timing proved to be impeccable. 

One of my favorite parts of them learning they would finally see Thomas is:  Reed had to share the news... with about half of Dogwood.  As I hear it, he ran from the class he was in back to his homeroom, threw open the doors and shouted, "I get to go see my Dad!"  ... this was repeated to at least one more class!  How precious is it that an almost 10 year old boy knows no limits of joy with this news?  A testament to the type of father Thomas is to both our kids and undoubtedly one of the main reasons he was spared. 

I am sorry I skipped a day or two and gave no updates.  I like to be careful with what I post so that it is real information for you, not just a recount of my life at The Med, which I could do!  Every day there are stories ranging from hilarious to horrific.  I try to choose the former.   

God is so very good. 

Thank you for reading this and for caring about my husband and our family. 

HIOTT!, jcm

Gimme 3 steps towards the door...

Thomas took those three steps plus about 12 more today!  My first question was, did they remember to tie closed your hospital gown!?  The second was did anybody help you!?  Yes and No were the respective answers.  Turns out,I think the whole TICU care team stood and watched in surprise, the burliest of PT staff nearby in case a catch was needed, but it wasn't!  His nurse says he insisted that he could, so they wheeled him out about 15 paces from his room and said, "Go for it!"   Autonomy is a good thing, a very good thing... and one that's been the catalyst for him.  It could be the fact that I've thanked him for finally allowing me to be in charge of our family budget, but whatever the reason, he is MOTIVATED!  :)

Thanks for reading this, for caring for and praying for my family... The power of prayer is an amazing thing.  You should always know that its there available to you just as it has been to us.  God is so good. 

HIOTT,

jcm

Other than our anniversary, not much happened with TMI (Thomas Mullins Incorporated) today.  That's a praise, really! 

Naturally, I would have never chosen to spend an anniversary at The Med, but I am just so glad to have a husband to spend it with that it really didn't matter at all where it was.  Can I please tell you that, he had a home made card waiting on me when I got there today!  He was sitting up in his chair waiting to hand it to me!  One of us doesn't deserve the other one, but I'll let you draw your own conclusions! :)

I think because we've been blessed with fairly steady improvements, I've become so much more aware of those around us that aren't.  Tonight, we were witness to another family experiencing a loss.  It is just so horrible and heart wrenching.  I want to run TO them and AWAY from them at the same time.  I want to comfort them but then you feel if you could just get away then it might not happen to you... like its contagious.  What do you do?  I watched this wife/mother being led, essentially carried, out by family... the chaplain following her.  Almost at the same time I say, "Thank you God that is not me..." and "Please God don't let that be me..."  I refuse to let fear get a grip but its a big fight.  That's a prayer request, really. 

Thomas was more like Thomas today than he's been yet.  Its obvious he has had determination from the start but, today he was able to really put words to it.  He has a 'plan' in place now so all feels a little more right with his world! 

We've still got a bit ahead of us, but, it could be so much worse.  This could have been a really tragic and sad anniversary, but God saved that from happening.  As Andre Crouch, my sister in law Beverly, Thomas and I say... "To God Be The Glory"!  (see previous post)

Thank you for reading this and for your prayers.  I am so thankful and so humbled...

HIOTT, jcm

"In sickness and in health...."

We said those words seventeen years ago today at our wedding! 

My sister in law, Beverly, sang at our wedding.  She has the most amazing voice and I can still hear her belting out "My Tribute" all those years ago!  I love the song... the lyrics are below.   To God Be the Glory that I will spend this day with Thomas!

I put a link to Andre Crouch singing it, too.  He has a great voice,but... Beverly, girl, you blew him away. 

How can I say thanks for the things
You have done for me?
Things so undeserved yet You gave
To prove Your love for me
The voices of a million angels
Could not express my gratitude
All that I am, and ever hope to be
I owe it all to Thee

To God be the glory, to God be the glory
To God be the glory for the things He has done
With His blood He has saved me
With His power He has raised me
To God be the glory for the things He has done
Just let me live my life and
Let it be pleasing Lord to Thee
And if I gain any praise, let it go to Calvary
With His blood He has saved me
With His power He has raised me
To God be the glory for the things He has done

http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0oG7nH90sJMQkUBelBXNyoA/SIG=120cvhbsu/EXP=1287922813/**http%3a//www.youtube.com/watch%3fv=0iZm9__sJL8

10-22-2010

The surgery to check the wound went really well and his leg injury looks good.   Our prayers are that the permanent grafts start mid week. 

He sat up in a chair for 2 hours today.  That's a difficult task but is necessary and good for him.   His nurse will have him do the same before her night shift ends tonight, which means it will be about 5:00 his morning!  I don't know anybody that would want to sit in a chair from 5:00 - 7:00 a.m! 

Thank you all for your prayers. 

HIOTT,
jcm

Never the same

I have been thinking that I (we) really will never be the same again.  I wasn't thinking it so much in terms of health, I believe God will fully restore Thomas, but more in terms of life experience.  We are forever changed by the things we've seen, heard, shared, dreaded, celebrated, fought, won. lost. 

Tonight I read someones post that said, "isn't that what we should all strive for? to be forever changed?"   I guess maybe so.  I have a much deeper appreciation for life, for friends, for family and most certainly for faith.  Of all the good things that have happened in my life, and they have been many, I don't think I can say that any of them have stirred my faith, have made me feel the power and the presence of God like this has.   Big. Strong. Mighty.  Loving. Gentle. Kind. 

To the point:  TICU for a little while longer.  That's a good thing for which I am thankful.   It was two weeks ago today that I was assured that Thomas was FINE, only had a muscle bruise and we just needed to ice it.  Nope.  He was slowly going away. 

Wound check in the a.m.  I pray that 1. it is done in the OR for sedation/pain control and that 2. the doctors find everything healthy and ready-to-go, just as they expect, 3. for the operating team's discernment, hands, minds, hearts. 

Our kids are doing so well, praise, praise.  My niece, who loves her Uncle T, has struggled some.  Shes only six.  Since my son now practically lives with them, he was there today when my niece got really upset about Thomas.  As I heard, Reed sat with her and explained the things he knew about his Dad, how it was going to be okay and that as soon as Reed could go see his Dad, he'd take his cousin with him.  That's a GRACE thing.... doesn't come from me.   Thank you, God, for that.

Miss MCM is also being carried by grace... in the form of precious friends who just wrap her up.  They keep life normal for her and that's exactly what a prayed for.   I am so thankful.... its an answered prayer as it gives me that peace that passes understanding.  Cuts down on the Pepto consumption.

HIOTT....
He Is On The Throne.

I'm not a doctor, but I play one at the Med...

Thomas continues to hold his own.  There are discussions about him being moved out of the Trauma ICU into step down ICU. 

Believe it or not, I actually had mixed emotions about this discussion because he requires a lot of attention (in my mind) still.  After the shock of how this whole tale began, I am extremely hesitant about anything that seems like it could risk his stability and I ask a LOT of questions.  After 12 days of this, I act like I can stand toe to toe with these extremely skilled and highly trained doctors... oh.  Wait.  Maybe that's why he's getting bumped outta there?!?  :) 

In all seriousness, he is doing very well.  His leg is stable and the rest is catching up.  All I can think of over and over is a Bible School song... "Our God is so big, he's so strong and so mighty there's nothing my God cannot do!"  I am so humbled and so thankful and so full of praise.  Big, Strong and Mighty...now my three favorite adjectives! 

We got a pull up bar thing installed over his bed tonight!  He's not exactly doing P90X yet, but ... won't be long, knowing him.  He's quite a fighter (read: extremely stubborn and determined)!  His 3 brothers have been telling me that for years, but I guess, guys, I didn't really get it til now.  Well, sorry I doubted you and sure glad you were right.  Thank you Jason, Randall, and Kevin for those years and years of toughening him up, creating this 'stubborness" that serves him so well.  And, Nancy... I am quite sure you helped develop a little bit of both... along with making him memorize the words to Funky Town.  :) You are all his heart.  He loves you and so do I. 

Our prayers are that his leg will stay protected and infection free, that permanent grafting is as quick and as successful as we've been told to expect, that Thomas will get to move around more in the coming days and just feel better.  We also pray for our children to be able to have a peace, security and understanding beyond their years with this situation.   Also, my prayer is that I can quit walking around with a straw in a Pepto-Bismol bottle.  Ga-ross. 

Thank you for reading this post, for caring about my family and for your prayers.  Love and appreciate you so very much...

Proclaim it far and wide:
H.I.O.T.T!!!!!!!
jcm

yesterday and today

The 'surgery' we waited on all day finally took place last night, at the bedside.  Its really more a 'procedure', I would say than surgery but... the reason they want to do it in the OR is for maximum pain control.  You can deduce then that it is a really unpleasant experience.  Today, I am very thankful for modern medicines and their ability to at least help you forget... and I am talking about Thomas, of course, not me. 

The doctor says his leg looks really great... I think his exact word was "superb'.  How amazing? What a miracle!  God definitely has plans for Thomas.  As I sit here, I am wondering just what those are.  How will He use him? 

I am so thankful to be able to share good news. That's how I know God has plans for us, all of us.   Not everyone visiting patients there has the same blessing.  A sweet lady who's been visiting her son all week in TICU was given very different information.  She is coming to terms with his home going.  We prayed together and she does have a peace about this but her heart is still breaking.  So is mine for her.  She said to me today that her son will make a wonderful angel because he has a beautiful voice. 

Thank you all for reading this.  Thank you for continuing to pray for complete healing for Thomas but also for this Mom who has such a hole in her life now.  My prayer for her is that God fills it with His Holy Spirit. 

no catchy title

Thomas had a break from surgery over the weekend. Hallelujah!  Tomorrow morning, however, he goes in for another wound surgery.  Number 9.

My prayers are for Doctor Hickerson and his team.  I am so thankful for him and that God has brought him on to T's case.  He, as every surgeon we have had so far (Perez, Croce and more), is considered excellent.  I ask still that God guide them every step of the way.  God gave these doctors their healing gifts and I praise Him that Thomas is receiving their treatment, care and skill. 

I pray also that Thomas can stay focused on healing.  I petition God to shield him from anything not of Him.  God has brought him this far through this trial and I know that He will continue this work in Thomas.  Thomas has a faith that can (and kinda has) move mountains...  I pray that his faith is what sustains him tonight and in the coming days.

Our prayer for our kids is that they can see Thomas soon.  Right now, it looks like it could be a while.  Until then, I ask that God just wash over them with peace.  They are really beginning to miss their Dad.  We are praising God that they can at least have occasional phone talks with him!  I pray God will protect my words with them so I can assure and comfort them just as and where they need it.  "Jesus Take the Wheel" here ....

I just want to thank you for your obedience to God through your prayers.  As much as I covet your prayers, HE covets that time with you and that reliance on HIM.  By praying for us and these requests, you are pleasing God and sustaining us. Thank you.

h.i.o.t.t! 

angels unaware

Its hard to say this but, its easy to be judgemental when you are in a place like The Med.  I realize that isn't a very good reflection of me, but its the truth.  When in a crisis, one is obviously very self absorbed, rightly so.  But, what I've begun to realize is that I was looking straight through other people, not caring that they were having their own crisis, not caring that they didn't live 20 minutes away but rather 200 miles and their temporary housing was now the waiting room , not caring what was happening to their loved one. 

Last week ( or maybe it was yesterday) I passed a man in the hallway.  His outward appearance was not really 'pleasing to the eye'... I just kept going, barely noticing him.  I took my place outside the door of the TICU, waiting for visiting '40 minutes' to start.   Something happened, I received some news that upset me and I began to cry.  In a second, someone was holding on to me and speaking to me in a reassuring way and it wasn't a familiar voice.  It was the man.  The man whom I had just looked right through.  He asked me a few questions, tried to calm me and then he said he would pray for Thomas.  He did it right then while holding on to me still.  He prayed for my Thomas and his friend, Peanut :).  He prayed a beautiful, simple prayer but so heartfelt. 

I've been thinking about him every day now.  I haven't seen him again nor have I been able to find out who is Peanut (HPPA!) so....... I am reminded of this verse that my Mom has had hanging by her back entry for as long as I can remember.  Its:

Hebrews 13: 2 " Do not forget to entertain strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares... " 

Isn't that beautiful?  Throughout this whole ordeal, we have been sustained from near and far.  I am realizing that 'the man' was not the only angel I was unaware of... there have been many and had my heart not been so so so so open to God right now, I would have missed them too.  Maybe I have missed some.  But, from now on, I am looking.  I hope you are too!

The angel I am not missing is the one sittin' in that bed at the med (yes, we've made many jokes at the rhyme).  He's amazing.  I see why God chose to use him, even though I wish I could have negotiated that a little.  But, TMullins is a fighter like I've never known.   He watched his Tigers beat my Hogs today (where was the sedation when I needed it?!) And he is going to beat ALL of this to the glory of His Lord, and mine, and yours... one in the same.  Thomas prays now when my 40 minutes are up.  He is my angel; I am aware.  Thank you God for Thomas. Thank you God for staying with him for carrying him and me.

My Thomas is a private, protected person.  To honor him, and after much thought and prayer, I've chosen not to openly list every detail of his current status, vital signs or recovery.  God knows those things as He knows every (remaining) hair on his head.   We covet your prayers and thank you for faithfully lifting him up, despite my lack of information, asking that God continue a revival of faith through Thomas' miraculous recovery.  We are so thankful, so humbled, you will just never know.  And... HIOTT!

What Not to Wear...

Top of the list: gowns and gloves!  Thomas was removed from isolation tonight so we can just walk in the room with out having to gown up!  It is a small and huge step all at once! 

His nurse tonight was on a week ago when T came to the ICU (which he still is, just removed from isolation list, no change in geography) ... similar story to earlier in that he was shocked to see him tonight.  In his words: " Gurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrl, God is goooooooooooooooooooooooood!"  Yes He is. 

quicker, shorter updated post...
He had surgery number 8 this morning.  He did well and the doctors were pleased with the wound progress.  What a huge praise!
The last two surgeries have left him very disoriented  when waking up.  This is normal for most but hasn't been the case with him until now.  Its very hard to watch when there is very little I can do. 
He had more dialysis.  His body seems to respond pretty well, but there is a lot of ground to cover there.
Thomas has covered so much ground so far, though, so I claim the promises that God will continue to carry him over the rest. 
I am on my way back down tonight.  I pray that I will find him resting and full of courage.  Thank you all for your prayers.  God is so present in this.  I just ask that you keep lifting Thomas up... and this continues to glorify Him and His work. 
Have a wonderful Friday night... hold tight to your families.  The greatest blessings of all

Thank you and I love you all!  For those of you traveling, be safe.

So, I thought I'd take my little magic pill, Ambien then sit down and update the blog.  Hahahaha!  Picture me waking up hours later with keyboard prints on my face... Wow.  That stuff works well and, fast! 

Needless to say, I rested last night and I was able to do so, not only thanks to my little helper, but mainly due to my bigger one!  God has continued to work a miracle in Thomas while I stand there, as do most of the medical staff, wide eyed in wonder.  While its still a little too close for me to hear/think about/understand.... several people including doctors and his ICU nurses now tell me they never thought he would make it through the weekend.  My stomach turns every time I say that or now, write it.  It hurts to really put that out there, but, again ... if I am going to use this blog as it was intended then I have to paint the clearest picture I can of exactly how powerful our mighty Father is! 

A week ago today, we started our wild, ambulance guided tour through Memphis that ended at The Med.  Last Friday night was just a horrible night for so many reasons.... but after he came out of surgery, I saw him and talked to (what seemed like) every employee AT the med, we came home, after repeated warnings not to stay there, to try and regroup/rest.  Well, rest wouldn't come of course.  I say it felt like I couldn't be still in my own skin... just horror and panic combined with helplessness.  It comes in waves just like it would if you were standing in the ocean.  Thankfully, God sent angels of mercy disguised as my family and friends to sit with me. 

I wanted to call to check on him but was terrified to do so at the same time.  Finally, I got the strength.  The desk clerk just said , harshly, "He's critical!"  and would give me no more information.  (grrrrrrrrrrr.  I'm praying over my feelings about her!)

About 3 hours later, his actual nurse called me.  The worst sound in the world is your phone ringing in the night, even if you aren't asleep.  Your stomach still lurches.  On the other end was Veronica, the first in his series of about 7 angel nurses that as cared for my Thomas.  She had much better 'bed side' (phone side?) manner and told me that he was awake!  What?  She was as surprised as I was.  What a fighter he is!  But, she said I could come see him if I wanted to.  Mom, Beth and I left about 3:00 a.m to go.  Per my request, Veronica was on T.s duty the next night too.  That was Saturday night. 

Veronica was back on duty yesterday for the first time since Saturday night.  When I came in she hugged me and whispered that even with all her experience in the Trauma ICU, she was so afraid to look in his room for fear he was no longer there.   To God be the Glory, or as T and one of his best friends end every email H.I.O.T.T.... (He Is On The Throne)  Tom Mullins WAS still in that room with a heavenly host of angels crowded around him!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tom had his first day off yesterday!  It was a vacation day from surgery.  He slept as though he'd never slept before in his life.  Praise God again... there was no better sight than walking in that room and just seeing his face (normal sized again) sound asleep, even peaceful looking.  Yesterday's nurse, Yolanda, calls him "Sleeping Beauty"... he's gonna wish I didn't print that (among other things I'm sure) Sorry, honey!!

Later,  I am going to speak a little more about the events of yesterday outside of Tom's actual condition but related to the whole 'deal'...  What I have to share then is the unspeakable blessing I had by having T's two best friends from childhood here at my side.  I've had my friends and both our families too and couldn't make it with out any of you and you all fall into this category.   But, I have to address that having B (Brad) and Stew (Shannon) with me every step for the last I-have-lost-track-of-days was as closest to having TMullins with me.  The lifted me up, they gently advised me, they helped me laugh, the let me cry endlessly, they let me repeat myself over and over.... they let me RUN them around Germantown like mad men while trying to catch the pertinent parts of two football games and Mary-Carter's homecoming.  They videoed it all for their friend.  They had patience that had no end.  They came on a moments notice from Atlanta (Shannon drove all night) and from Dallas (Brad caught a flight with in hours of hearing) .... Its like the man version of Beaches! :)  I can't make it through any of this without adding a levity here and there but, they are the Wind Beneath My (husband's) Wings.  And, oh are they going to have a great time ribbing him about it all later. 

There are so many things I would love to say and will at some point... I need longer to think about them. Its harder to update this than I thought.  Just hard to know what to say or how.   Most of all, I still can't come up with the words to thank you for your overwhelming support.  You all know that it is hard to accept, not at all because I don't want it but ... just... I don't know, just because.  However, thankfully you are all overiding me because it has been a total God send and you've filled needs I would have never asked to be filled.  (Still.... no one I KNOW better clean this house.  I will, and I promise with all I have in me, I will KILL you!:):):))

HUMBLING doesn't touch what it is to receive and accept these helps.  Its a lesson for me ... I've heard before if you don't let people "do" you are robbing them of the blessing.  So, alright already! :)  I'm taking deep breaths and letting you 'do'....  I pray that God blesses you for it and through it as He has me.  I love you all.

Just got a call... he's headed back.  Surgery number 7 or 8.  We prayed together and I'll be wating on him we he comes out of the OR.   HIOTT....

He called!

I feel like a high school girl that's been sitting by the phone willing it to ring!  Being waken up (I hope that is the right way to say that..!)  by the phone, especially now, is one of my least favorite things but... early this morning when it did... it was wonderful!  I heard a voice I have missed til I ached!  Thomas, although incredibly groggy and senseless was on the phone! :)  Praise the Lord for that and for his precious nurse, Molly, who had the idea to do that.  What a doll she is! They have all been such blessings!

They extubated T late last night after his last wound surgery.  He was going in, right after we hung up, with Plastics (yes, TMullins will be the one in our family getting plastic surgery!  Who'd have ever thought!?!)  His two best friends from his childhood are here and, to add some levity (much needed) they've had a great time messing with T about plastic surgery, exactly what kind of skin he'll be getting (cadaver to start...but we've taken lots of liberties with that! ), and all other types of things. 

We will remain in Trauma ICU for at least another week.  Maybe sometime over the weekend he can move to the step down ICU.  The doctor over that unit is another precious lady of faith and has been praying with me over this the whole time, as have so many of you!!!! 

I am not a blogger and putting all this out there and asking you guys for all this help is hard for me, but not giving all this information is robbing God of the glory of this miracle that HE has worked in our life.  It looks like this is all about us, but it is really all about our Heavenly Father and how much he loves all of us, Thomas me and you!  And, let me just tell you .. its about learning to totally give your life over to HIM!!!!   Its about learning to let go and realize we live in a world where HE IS IN CONTROL and we, thank heavens, don't have to be.  His plans are perfect, even when you are walking right through the middle of a terrifying fire.   His mighty armour has been melted down around us, something I pray for all the time but had no idea how it would be used, as we have traveled so far.  I am so grateful, thankful, humbled...

His doctors and nurses have to still tell me that he is in a life threatening situation and critical.  I know that.  But, they also have to say, just in their own 'stream of conscience" thinking that T's progress so far,  as nothing less than a miracle.  Its been such a testimony to so many.  These young residents come in all wide eyed... seeing this type of case is something a young doctor-to-be can't wait to learn from.  They are astounded.  Every single doctor, nurse, aid that has worked on him has been an angel of the Lord.. doing HIS work.  That's the lesson of the day. 

As verbose as I am, :), I will NEVER have the words to tell you all what you have meant and do mean to me... and to Thomas once he is able to understand the events of the last five days.   Seriously, I just don' t have the words.  Its humbling, humbling.  We are so grateful.  Thank you.  I love you, each of you.  Thank you. 

B and C, the blog is AWESOME!  I'm so glad you did it.

October 12, 2010 - 2:05

Sorry for the delay in an update.  We are not IT savy either.  Here is the lastest from the MED:

Thomas continues to hold his own. 
He is breathing on his own now too.
He will have another cleaning surgery today, and if everything looks good and goes well they MIGHT start skin grafts in his surgery in the morning.
All his other vitals are still the same.
They have a clip board in his room that has a keyboard on it and he is able to communicate with people that way.

Julie is feeling encouraged and we are all so thankful for his improvements.  Thank you all again for your continued prayers.  They are working!! 

If you are visiting Julie at the MED, you can find her in the Pavillion area (next to the gift shop and cafeteria) unless she is in with Thomas. She usually comes back to the pavillion afterwards.  They do have regulated visiting hours for family (9, 1 & 5), but since he is doing surgeries so often they usually let her back at different times. So at this point, there is not really a set schedule.  If you don't find her, just wait around a little bit and she will come back there when her visitation is over.

October 11, 2010 - 2:30

Hello all
This is our blog we have set up to keep you all informed of Thomas and the most recent prayer request for him.  We are depending on all of you to get our family through this!!   We have an overwhelming amount of people praying for us and offering help.  We covet both.

Julie has a hard time asking for help, but at this point she needs it.  So, we are going to take the pressure off of her and also be using this blog as a tool to let you guys know things that need to be done. 

Julie has had so many messages and text that she can't even begin to answer and it is making her upset that she can't.  Please do NOT stop sending her text and messages.  She is so encouraged by reading and hearing them.  It seems that each one she reads is perfect for whatever situation she is in at the moment.  If something is laid on your heart, please do not hesitate to forward it on to her. You may also leave a comment on this blog for her or any member of the family.

We are in for a big fight, because Thomas is very sick.  We believe in the power of prayer and want everyone of you to join us in asking God to heal our precious Thomas.

Please keep in mind that we are not in the medical field and have no knowledge of medical terminology.  So please excuse the way we butcher these explanations.

10/11 update
-number/vitals are starting to improve - huge answer to prayer
-had dialysis last night, kidneys still not working on their own, but doctors still   don't consider this alarming
-off all blood pressure meds - huge answer to prayer
-alert and talking, but still intubated

10/11Prayer Request
-existing infection continue to die
-kidney function will resume on their own
-Reed and Mary Carter  - patience and understanding.  Their life is going to  be really different for a long time. 
-Julie - for strength and courage and peace during the night.  She is having a hard time resting.

There will also be a dry erase board outside Julies front door.  Needs for the day will be posted there and we would love for you to leave her a note of encouragement if you happen to stop by and miss her.  She is being held up right now by all of you and our Heavenly Father.  Your continued support and love is needed and so much appreciated.  Thank you doesn't even begin to cover what our family feels for all that you have done.  We have heard that said so many times....now we finally understand how it feels.  Thank you!!!

Carla Catron and Beth Dawson
(Julie's sisters)